Dear Chefboyardee

Dear Chefboyardee,

Next time I buy Beefaroni, can you make sure you add the beef (or whatever fake by-product it is that you call beef), this can had none. Oh and while your at it can you throw in a pinch of taste?

Thanks.

Yea, disgusting, don’t even know why I had that can sitting on my lazy susan… atleast now it’s gone.

So let me just tell you. I’m in love. With my Magic 8-ball. It’s awesome.  It’s so totally honest with me. We have sort of this relationship going… When I don’t really want to know the answer to my question it gives me one of those “concentrate and ask again” replies. Sometimes its just brutally honest with me and says “NO! Eyes Wide Open is not thinking about you right now, he’s getting obliterated with his friends and having fun without you while you sit at home bleeding into that diaper because Eve was deceived by that fucking serpent so forever you must suffer on a monthly basis!”  Well not in those words exactly but ya get the point.

I think I’m going to build a nice comfy box/bed for my 8-ball.  It’s just that good.  And I’m kind enough to not test our trust… I used to, but it just came back to bite my ass, so now i just have faith. And all will work out.  I’m thinking maybe nice lime green velour with lots of cushy padding…and some sort of trim. Perhaps pink, but not to girly because I haven’t figured out yet if there is male or female energy coming from this magical ball of knowledge. Go ahead laugh, it was the greatest 8 dollars I’ve spent.

Do you have a question for my fantabulous magic 8-ball?