Perturbed.

I get inately mad when people don’t update their blogs as often as I’d like to read them…

What does inately mean?

Being a girl.

I had an awful work out tonight–I got out of work incredibly early-an hour early infact…I went to the gym and my body just wasn’t in to it. My knees were barely supporting me during my cardio, I attempted to make up for it by delving into ab work and push-ups before my 15 minutes of streching…but even my streching time–which i typically LOVE, wasn’t that great   Oh well. I suppose bad work outs happen.

Now, it’s a rare occurance that I look at something and say “Now that’s TOO big to fit in my vagina!”…but tonight, for the second time in my life, that though passed through my brain–I had a “super” tampon in my hand…and it was THICK. Like I’m sure this thing could absorb for days…I don’t even know what brand it was–it came in one of those sample packs they mail to you… I think that when I get to heaven, I’m gonna give a nice bitch-slap to our pal Eve… Fuck her! and that damn fruit!

Anyway-I guess it’s normal life as usual…too tired after dinner to do much. Too tired in the a.m. to wake up for work…too stressed at work to enjoy it… blah blah blah.

I remember when my job used to be fun. There was time to kick-back and enjoy what I do… not anymore. It sucks.

What will this weekend bring? Hopefully Bunco on Saturday night…Hopefully lots of stamp time Sunday and Monday… If not…hopefully lots of money to go buy more beads so I can make some new necklaces…and some magnetic clasps so that I may wear my beautiful creations at work… I love the necklace Tracy made me though—I love the thought and meaning she put into it. I know that she hated Eyes Wide Open from the get-go, but even if it wasn’t related to that situation–I know she’s got my best interest at heart…she’s that type of person.  She put heart beads on my necklace…and they’re not all facing “right-side-up” and she told me she did that because our hearts aren’t always in the right place…but they’ll find their way–in that I have hope.

Time I hear, heals all wounds. I don’t know that it heals them so much as puts a nice Dora-The-Explorer band-aid over it. I think that time is just a crutch that we lean on to forget; time and mass quantities of alcohol at opportune (and some not-so-opportune) moments…Time is a band-aid, and in time, that band-aid gets ripped off-sometimes a little too slowly.

Moving on.  So to speak. I guess here I’ll end for the evening. good night and good morrow.

As of late.

This past weekend I’ve had a gazillion blog topics pass through my head. And any time I sit down to blog about them… they disappear.

therefore, I will jabber on about some other bullshit until a delectable topic come.

I had an enjoyable day today… It was slightly emotional due to PMSing and me scrapbooking pictures of my bestfriend… I watched a couple movies on Netflix and did some ‘jump’ sessions with Knuckles…I showed my dad one of the things I made, it has a pitcture of each of my beloved pets and he thought it was amazing.  I could tell by his reaction that he enjoyed it throughly.  He even commented that it didn’t belong in my room, but if I put it there I would have to bring it out to show people when they came over. My heart melted.

Another emotional turn on the dad front…He actually opened up about a smidgen of his feelings related to work today…how pissed off he was/is about this one guy–whom there are always stories told, and always stories told about other guys and happenings…however, this time he related his personal emotions–and the breakthrough: when he was done, he said something along the lines of “I feel better.”  I (and Mom) were very proud. That now makes a grand total of 6 emotional events I’ve seen of my dad…

I am very proud of the projects I completed today. Even the one that makes me cry. I shall post a picture.

Now excuse the exposure and crooked-ness of the actual frames… I just hung it up real quick so it would be up, and my camera batteries are DEAD, so I didn’t have time to play around with flash filters to get a good exposure. But none-the-less She is my best friend. She always will be.

Other happenings of the day? Playing hide and seek with Knuckles and my mom…very enjoyable. Also, my dad made another killer lasagna!  that is the one food that the smell just makes my stomache ache with hunger.  Mmm Mmm Mmm.

Other happenings of the weekend? I have an attendee for my Accordian book class!  Check out my stampin’ site for pictures and more info on that!  I did not go to the gym and I probably won’t tomorrow considering it’s my first day of the week and I work till 8–dun dun.

So this new moon tonight is fucking with my dog–he’s friggin WIRED!  It’s bedtime for the household and he’s running around amuck with his toys and such…and now he started barking!  And my beloved trick of calling him onto the bed or couch to lay down wasn’t working….and now he’s getting his nasty jowls all over my computer screen!!! argh! not to mention the nail he just broke when I tried to get him to come into my room. Grawr! but none the less… he will go to sleep, and look like an angel, and I will remember how much I love him again… As of late, the short fuse I’ve had with him has really  made me reconsider the fact that I thought I’d be a good parent…

Let’s talk about something happy!!! only 5 more days until my next weekend! yay!   Oh so last saturday—Liz made us an awesome “Yay! You survived the week!” present…Yummy uberlicious cupcakes!!  And I FINALLY drew a cupcake on my chalkboard…it doesn’t look as delish as I imagined but it’ll do, and also, while I had my pastels out, I tried my hand at recreating another Munch painting… I realized that the piece I chose, (Madonna) had too much definiative color streaks for me to re-create with pastels…but I tried, and I am very pleased with my product. I wish I had an art course in which the assignments were to do more of his paintings! but alas I don’t, and that’s not where my creative priorities lie at the present.

Well I’ve depleted my blog drive for the moment…I shall now go create a Stampin’ wish list–and then possibly read some fantastical articles from a dog magazine I bought.

Melting.

After a run at the gym and a brief streching time (brief for me is like 10 minutes) and a dinner that is now coming back to haunt me…I came home and took a beautiful shower and then laid across my parents queen size bed. There I melted into the mattress. Just laid quietly and felt my body sink; it disappeared little by little as the mattress engulfed my being.  I was about halfway gone when my mom shook my legs and I immediately floated right back up.

Now as my Chinese food is haunting me, my dog is annoying me…with his incessant whining. No I will not let you on my bed because it is my bed and I don’t feel well! I’m sorry I wasn’t home tonight to cuddle with you but I don’t feel up to cuddling now. And you’re ruining my night, not because you’re whining so loudly it’s echoing in my dehydrated head, but because I know Dad is in the next room trying to sleep because he has to be at work before dawn and he’s probably getting pissed off that you’re keeping him awake and consequently it’s my fault because I’m letting you whine incessantly in my face.  So please, for the love of everyone…. SHUT UP! and go lay down in your own friggin bed for once.

P.S.  the week of PMSing has begun.

P.P.S. A glimmer of hope, Knuckles walked to his bed….but alas he returns to me whineing once more. :::SIGH::: I just want it to be Saturday night.

shake yo boo-tay

So… to start of my weekend. I headed to the gym. I get there at 5:45, swipe my card, the guy at the counter greets me… I make my way to the locker room, change—a “team member” is going around closing all the open lockers…. I climb on an eliptical…10 minutes later at 6:05 the same guy that greeted me at the counter comes over and says “We close at 6 on Saturdays”

Wtf? You couldn’t have told me when i walked in??? Grrr…. I go to my locker get my shit and walk out, past the 15 employees that are waiting for me to leave…Embarassing and frustrating.

So to get my workout I decide to go out dancin with some gal pals…  We meet up at a restaurant for some snacks first, it’s exciting… even more exciting when half of us arrive at the dance place and get a phone call from the other half reporting a dead car battery… here’s where the fun begins…. We flag down some people in the parking lot–they have jumper cables… so the three husbands come over to help us… and they have NO IDEA what they’re doing… they literally could have killed us multiple times and wasted much time and energy unconnecting and reconnecting the cables to various parts-not knowing/realizing that it will take a few moments for the battery to charge…. The manual says that the battery is in the trunk, even though there is a jumper terminal under the hood. they did out the battery and finally it starts… I learned later that meanwhile the wives were standing around bitching about how they had kids to go home too… well if their kids were stuck in a parking lot in -13 degree weather don’t you think they’d want someone to help out their kids?!

Anyway, car starts we make it to dancing… we’re practically the only ones there. It’s okay I had fun anyways cuz i’m a dancin’ fool!!!  And I actually forgot the story that I wanted to blog about–how bout that!  but we had a lot of fun and I can’t wait to do it again!  All for now… Good night world…I have my Stampin’ Up! Open House I tomorrow!! Hope lots of people show up!

Adieu.

oh P.S. most of the music sucked…

and pps i remember what i wanted to blog about… I couldn’t get Eyes Wide Open off my head… i didn’t even get buzzed really–which is good cuz I didn’t send out any stupid text msgs…. But it just sucked that every other song he popped in my head… Help me! I need to get him out! I need happier thoughts. ::::SIGH:::: life’s a bitch.

college.

So I have infront of me information I requested from a college. I can’t open it. I’m afraid it won’t be the answer I’m looking for. I am afraid it won’t solve my problem. I’m afraid it will be in adequate and I’ll have to continue not being lazy.

three marlenas

lately, this is how i feel on a good day.

alone tonight in somebody’s bed, she’s gone and dyed her hair red.

she only went and did what she did cuz he would drive her home then

there’s lipstick on her new dress she hadn’t even paid yet

but it doesn’t matter where the money went it wasn’t how she paid rent

one, two, three marlenas

there’s got to be someone we can trust out here among us

now looking out across the city lights she thought they’d be a good pair

he could make a living selling cars, maybe she could work there

she’s gonna pick a star in the night and pray to make it all right

she tried so hard not to pick a kite, she always prayed to headlights

one, two, three marlenas

there’s got to be someone we can trust out here among us

one, two, three marlenas

I see no speak no hear no evil among us

the three marlenas

man i think i’m gonna buy myself a rolls maybe a chevorlet
one where i can pull that top down

just let my radio play

i’m heading out on that highway i’m going right out of state

i aint looking back till i’m going right through Heaven’s gates

one, two, three marlenas

there’s got to be someone we can trust here among us

one, two, three marlenas

i see no speak no hear no evil among us

three marlenas, three marlenas, three marlenas…

Controlling Life.

So my G-star and I had coffee today and of course we stumbled upon the topic of eyes wide open.  I went over again my anxiety issues with going to the grocery store and she asked if I’m going to let him control my life like that.

The answer? Yes. Yes I am. I went to the grocery store tonight after we met and I was 95% sure he wouldn’t be working, and he wasn’t. But his boss was in the checkout line infront of me. I tried to keep him from recognizing me but sure as the sun rises as he left the line he said “Hello, Emily” WHY THE FUCK DOES HE HAVE TO REMEBER MY NAME? isn’t it enough that he remember me as the girl that eyes wide open fucked? why does he have to go and personalize it?! dammit just forget me! I mean nothing to you, forget me. Please. I beg of you, do me this one favor.

Yes. He will control this small portion of my life, at least for now.

Testing The Water.

I need customers. I can’t keep meeting my monthly quota by myself…  So this is an invitation to anyone with the slightest interest in crafts, stamping, scrapbooking, home decor, making gifts… The possibilities are just ever-expanding…. Anyone who wants to check out my obsession can come to an open house event on either Sunday the 18th or Thursday the 22nd.  We’ll make a few projects, explore all the new items that Stampin’ Up! is coming out with, have retired merchandise on sale….There will be giveaways and so much fun!  You’re all invited to check it out and bring a friend or two! (or family member!) It really is a lot of fun.

To be a demonstrator (which I am) you have to accumulate in sales (or from yourself like I have been doing-yikes!) a minimum of $300 per quarter (every 3 months) which isn’t bad… but I simply can’t afford to keep doing it all myself.  So I’m hoping to get a group of people together to have a stampin’ club.  We’d meet once a month for 6 months and everyone would commit to spending $25 a month. And everyone would get a chance to be a hostess, which means that one month you’ll get all the free stuff-stamp set, paper, embellishments….you choose!  It’s a nice way to slowly and affordably build your collection.

My upline is helping me to set goals to get new customers and stuff… So I’m starting here… and in emails to my family (who I don’t want reading my blog for some obvious reasons! haha!) to start my customer base.  Oh and I posted an add on craigs list…I got one reply–so i’ll have to be sure to follow up with that.   But yea, if you’re looking for a new creative outlet…check this out… and lemme know which date you’d like to come to the open house! And if you’re interested I’ll send you a link to my Stampin’ Up! Website where you can check out our products and see samples of different items!

Ugh. Shut Up.

So I nearly have a migrane…. and my dog won’t stop whining.  He wants to cuddle… BUT I DON”T WANT TO! and he’s the dog so make the decisions right?!  He’s got his own bed! It’s shaped like a couch! He loves sleeping on the couch! Why won’t he stop whining? I just want to cry. I am in pain. My face is ghostly white (more ghostly then usual) and my eyes are glassy and closing on me… I just want this sickness to get to it’s culmination so that I may get better. :::SIGH:::

AND I WANT KNUCKLES TO GROW THE FUCK UP AND STOP WHINING AT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING!

but I love him. So I turn off my ears and stumble into the aybss of dancing colors and shooting acute pangs.

Goodnight world, goodnight.